Is it really that time of the year already? Blimey. Every year, I write a Christmas story for children (previous ones can be found be clicking the link here). This year, I was asked if I could write something a bit different; something that's maybe a bit scary at times. The result is underneath this introduction. Don't worry though, it's still really silly and has a good bit with a duvet cover.
It's about a boy called George and the day the characters he was watching on TV said "Hello!" to him...
Nick x
Christmas 2022
It was quiet in the house as George Brooks sat down on the sofa and started to eat his lunch. He wriggled uncomfortably and saw he was sitting on some tinsel. The Christmas decorations in the living room kept falling down and he was fairly sure his cat, Alan, was to blame. George lived in Newport with Alan, and also with Mummy and Daddy. It was Christmastime and George, Mummy and Daddy were very excited. Alan didn’t seem to know what all the fuss was about but he did like trying to pull down all the fairy lights from the Christmas tree. George was sure he’d seen Alan eat a Christmas card as well. Alan was a very silly cat.
“Good news!” cheered Pansy. But then he frowned and asked, “Who is that?”
George looked down and saw that Alan had wandered over to look at the TV. Alan arched his back and gave a very low and very loud hiss: “Hisssssssssss!”
“What are you doing, Alan?” asked George, but Alan’s tail stood on end and he hissed at Pansy and MeowMeow again: “Hisssssssssss!”
“How rude!” said MeowMeow.
“Alan, they’re my friends!” said George. “Stop being a silly cat!” Alan gave one final hiss, then he ran and hid behind the sofa. George turned to the TV: “I’m sorry about Alan. How can I help you escape?”
Pansy and MeowMeow looked at each other and just for a moment, George could have sworn their eyes glowed yellow.
“Just reach out and take our paws!” said Pansy. “It’s easy, go on George! Then we can have lots of fun for Christmas!”
“Yes! Yes! Fun fun fun!” said MeowMeow. “Christmas fun with friends!”
“Okay,” said George. “Do I do it like this?” He leant forward to the TV screen and put his hands out, touching it. Normally the screen was made of glass and didn’t do anything, but today it melted and felt gooey and tickly, like putting his hand into a big pot of paint. The screen bubbled and wobbled, and he felt the paws of Pansy and MeowMeow from inside it! They were warm and furry and they grasped onto George’s hands tightly. It hurt a little bit, but George was very brave.
“Just pull, George!” said Pansy with a smile.
“Yeah! Yeah! Pull pull pull!” giggled MeowMeow.
George frowned with the strain and pulled with all his might. Slowly, he felt Pansy and MeowMeow come forward.
“Pull! Pull! Harder! Harder!” laughed MeowMeow.
George pulled harder, and he could see that Pansy’s paws had burst out of the screen now.
“Good boy, George!” said Pansy. “What fun we’ll have!”
Suddenly, there was a clatter and Alan ran back over to them. He desperately tried to paw at George and push him away from the TV, but George pushed Alan away instead.
“Shoo, Alan! Shoo! Stop being silly!” said George, annoyed.
“Meow!” said Alan, and he ran upstairs.
George looked at the TV and this time he was certain he saw Pansy and MeowMeow’s hair stand on end, as prickly as a cactus, and then he felt prickles in his hands where their paws were.
Had George made a mistake? Pansy and MeowMeow suddenly looked and felt a bit scary!
But it was too late. With a wet pop, out of the TV bound Pansy and MeowMeow, crashing onto the floor and knocking over George’s juice. Now they were out of the TV screen they looked massive. They towered over George, casting dark shadows.
“We’re here! The human world! Hahaha!” said MeowMeow.
“What fun we will have, MeowMeow!” said Pansy with a snarl.
“Fun fun fun! Christmas fun for Pansy and MeowMeow!” said MeowMeow, and he giggled away to himself as if nobody else was in the room, clapping his paws together.
“Fun for me, too,” said George. “You said we’d have lots of fun!”
“Hmmm? Oh, yes, fun for you as well now we’ve escaped,” sniffed Pansy.
“Escaped?” said George. “You said ‘leave’ before!”
“Oh, did I? Slip of the tongue, I’m sure,” said Pansy.
“And you said we’d use Christmas Magic!” said George, wondering what things they could do with it. He picked up his toy magic wand. “I could help you!”
MeowMeow rolled over on his back and kicked his paws in the air. “Christmas Magic? Hahaha! You’re making me liggle!”
George had never heard of that word before, so he asked, “What’s a liggle?”
“It’s a cross between a laugh and a giggle, of course!” said MeowMeow, and his liggling filled the living room.
“Why would we use Christmas Magic when there is other magic we can play with?” asked Pansy, flashing his teeth.
“What other magic?” asked George, but he was afraid he already knew the answer.
“Much better magic!” said Pansy. “Much weirder magic!”
“Weirder magic?” said George, and then the penny dropped. “You mean Strange Magic, don’t you?”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” cooed MeowMeow. “All over the world they use Strange Magic! Why not use it here in Wales, too?”
“Chaos and confusion! Yes!” said MeowMeow.
“Your teacher sounds really boring!” said Pansy. “What’s wrong with a bit of chaos?” He stood to his full height and flicked a big panda paw. Tiny purple sparks went flying through the air and George watched as they hit the Christmas tree.
The Christmas tree started to shake from side to side, and then it slowly inched itself off the ground: it was flying!
“What’s going on?” asked the Christmas tree. “Have I grown up? Have I gotten taller? Is that why I’m so high?”
It wasn’t though and before the tree could say another word, it wobbled uncertainly then started zooming round the living room! It bopped the ceiling and made dust fall, then knocked all the decorations off the walls, and then it shed its baubles and tinsel everywhere.
“Look at it whizz!” said Pansy. “Boring Christmas Magic couldn’t do that!”
“Stop it!” cried George. “You’re making a mess!”
“But you like messy things!” insisted Pansy.
“Not like this I don’t!” said George. “And Mummy and Daddy will be cross if it gets messy indoors!”
“Messy mess mess!” whooped MeowMeow. He flicked his paws. Green sparks flew from them and hit the Christmas tree. It started jumping up and down on the sofa!
“I feel icky!” said the Christmas tree.
“Stop! You’ll break the sofa!” said George. “Mummy and Daddy won’t be pleased!”
“Stop? How boring!” said MeowMeow.
Pansy sighed: “But if you insist, George. Fine!” He flicked a paw and more purple sparks hit the Christmas tree. It instantly stopped talking and moving, and crashed to the ground with a very loud thud.
There was silence for a moment, and then George heard Daddy running downstairs.
“George!” said Daddy. “What is all that noise? What are you doing? Alan ran upstairs to get me: he looked really worried!”
“Uh-oh!” said Pansy.
“George!” said Daddy again and he walked into the living room, Alan by his side. Daddy’s mouth dropped open. The whole room was a mess, and there next to George was a very large panda and a very large cat!
“Oh dear!” said Pansy.
“Daddy isn’t pleased! We need to stop Daddy!” said MeowMeow.
“Alan, do you know this cat?” asked Daddy, but before Alan could answer, Pansy and MeowMeow had jumped onto Daddy and pinned him down. Alan tried to swipe at them with his paws, but it was too late. With a loud nom-nom-nom-nom-nom, Pansy swallowed Daddy whole, leaving his glasses behind on the floor!
“Daddy!” cried George.
“Meow!” cried Alan.
“Yum yum!” said Pansy. He burped and he grinned, then he asked, “What should we do next, MeowMeow?”
“Eat Mummy!” said MeowMeow, and his liggled harder than ever.
“No! Don’t!” said George. “Anyway, you don’t know where she is!”
“Then we’ll just have to find her!” said Pansy. “I’m sure she won’t be far!”
“The house is bigger than you think!” said George. “She could be anywhere!”
But just then, they heard the toilet flush.
“Mummy’s on the loo!” sang MeowMeow. Before George could say a word, Pansy and MeowMeow ran as fast as they could to the bathroom. George and Alan ran after them.
“Mummy! Stay on the toilet!” said George.
“Meow!” said Alan, but Mummy didn’t hear either of them.
Mummy opened the door and only had time to gasp before MeowMeow’s jaw dropped and he ate Mummy up, leaving only her slippers behind on the floor!
MeowMeow sighed contentedly and declared, “Mummy tasted of chocolate eggs!”
“Oh no!” said George.
Pansy mocked George. “‘Oh no! Oh no!’ That’s just what Father Christmas said when we ate Dasher and Dancer, do you remember MeowMeow?”
“Yeah!” said MeowMeow. “He made us spit them out, and then he used his Christmas Magic to trap us in the TV!”
“But now George has set us free!” said Pansy. “He didn’t know that all children are full of Christmas Magic at Christmastime!
“I am?” asked George. He looked at his toy magic wand. He didn’t feel magical.
“And George didn’t know that we would use that and our Strange Magic to escape!” continued Pansy.
“You tricked me!” said George. “And then you ate Mummy and Daddy!”
“They’re safe and warm!” insisted MeowMeow. He tapped on his big belly. “Safe inside!”
“George!” shouted Mummy from inside MeowMeow. “George! It’s dark and I haven’t got a torch! Help me!”
“Where am I?” asked Daddy from inside Pansy. “It’s all wet, like I’m sleeping in a raincloud! I don’t like it!”
“I’ll help you!” said George bravely.
“Boring!” said MeowMeow. “Let’s see what else there is to do!”
“Meow!” said Alan, and Pansy and MeowMeow pushed past them, straight into Mummy and Daddy’s bedroom.
MeowMeow ate all of Mummy’s lipstick, then Pansy looked at the bed and used his Strange Magic to bring the duvet cover to life! He flicked his purple sparks at it, and the duvet cover wailed like a ghost.
“Oooooh no!” said the frightened duvet cover. “I don’t like heights, that’s why I always stay on the ground! Argh!”
“Stop it!” said George.
“Meow!” said Alan, but Pansy and MeowMeow didn’t stop. Instead, they ran to the kitchen.
Pansy squished all of the food in the fridge with his paws, then MeowMeow used his Strange Magic on the washing machine! He flicked his green sparks at it and the washing machine choked and rumbled, then started to gush a river of soapy bubbles. They covered the floor and rose higher and higher until everyone’s feet and ankles were soaked through.
“Blubble brubble bobble babble!” protested the washing machine, but it was so full of bubbles that no-one could understand a word it was saying.
“More! More! More!” said MeowMeow, and more strange and chaotic things happened!
The table stretched its legs and ran straight out of the house! The shoes in the corridor found some light bulbs and started kicking them around like a football! All the underwear in the house rolled up in a big ball like a hedgehog, then dived into the toilet with an almighty splosh!
“Oh no!” said George.
“Meow!” said Alan.
“I’m hungry again!” said Pansy. “Why don’t we go to school and gobble up George’s delicious teacher?”
“And Father Christmas for dessert!” said MeowMeow. “Good idea, Pansy!” Without another word, they ran outside into the rain and scurried off down the street.
“No!” said George. “Don’t eat Father Christmas!” He looked down at Alan. “What should we do?”
Alan cocked his head to one side and thought about it, then he ran over to the Christmassy mess all over the floor and started eating it up.
“Stop it Alan, you silly cat!” said George. “We need to stop Pansy and MeowMeow!”
Alan kept on eating though, downing bowls of baubles and tablespoons of tinsel. He washed down a cup of Christmas cards with the bubbles from the washing machine, and then ran upstairs to find the duvet cover.
“Meow meow meow meow meow!” said Alan, and the duvet cover seemed to understand.
“Cats are always sleeping on beds,” explained the duvet cover. “We’re all purrrfecty fluent in Cat!”
The duvet cover flapped and wrapped itself around Alan’s neck like a cape, then Alan put one paw out and smashed through the bedroom window, whizzing away into the sky outside.
George didn’t know what to do. What was Alan up to? George quickly put on his coat and his welly boots, then he ran outside to look for Alan.
He ran as fast as he could through the rain, but couldn’t see him anywhere. He’d soon caught up with Pansy and MeowMeow though. They’d been causing all sorts of chaos on the way to the school to eat the teacher. All the cars were blasting loud music, the puddles on the pavement were bubbling and spurting up like water fountains, and the drains were making the smelliest smells you’d ever smelled in your whole entire life.
“Look, MeowMeow!” said Pansy. “It’s George!”
“Come to stop us, George?” sneered MeowMeow. He looked at Pansy. “I don’t want to be friends with George!”
“I don’t want to be friends with you!” said George. “Real friends don’t play nasty tricks on each other!”
“Real friends must be really dull then!” said MeowMeow.
“You know,” said Pansy carefully, “it’s an awfully long way to the school. I wonder. Maybe we should eat something else before then. I’m feeling terribly hungry!”
“Yeah yeah yeah!” said MeowMeow. “I’ve got room in my belly for one more snack: a room the size of George Brooks!”
“Yum!” said Pansy, and they slowly walked towards George.
George tried to back away, but purple and green sparks went flying all around him. The cars drove onto the pavement and blocked his exit, the drains grew so smelly that even the rats from down below decided it was too much and fled, and the puddles wrapped themselves around George’s waist like chains. He felt them tighten around him, and the toy magic wand in his pocket pressed into his thigh uncomfortably. George was trapped!
“Oh no!” said George.
Pansy and MeowMeow loomed over poor George and opened their mouths really wide; so wide that George could see straight down their throats where Mummy and Daddy were cowering in terror.
“Please don’t eat me!” said George.
“It’s dinnertime!” said Pansy…
… but then there came a loud “Meow!”
George looked up and there, flying down from the sky, was Alan and the duvet cover: but not just Alan! Beside him were two very magical and very annoyed-looking reindeer.
“Oh no!” said MeowMeow. “It’s Dasher and Dancer!”
“They’ve come to get revenge!” said Pansy.
“Meow!” said Alan and they all swooped down. Dasher and Dancer hoofed Pansy, and Alan used his paws and tail to swish at MeowMeow.
The cars and the puddles all lost their magic as Pansy and MeowMeow grew distracted by their attackers, and the drains started smelling of rose petals: George was free at last! He looked at Pansy and MeowMeow as Alan, Dasher and Dancer fought them, and then he remembered something that Pansy had said: “All children are full of Christmas Magic at Christmastime!”
“Let’s see if that’s true!” said George. He took his toy magic wand out of his pocket and pointed it straight at Pansy and MeowMeow. He concentrated really hard for some magic to come, then cried out: “Pansy! MeowMeow! Go back inside the TV!”
The toy magic wand vibrated and then shot yellow sparks from its tip. They flew across the street and landed on Pansy and MeowMeow.
Pansy looked at MeowMeow. MeowMeow looked at Pansy.
“Oh no!” said Pansy, and they started to whoosh back to George’s house.
“Meow!” said Alan and he hovered next to George. George clung onto the duvet cover and they flew after Pansy and MeowMeow, with Dasher and Dancer behind them.
They reached George’s house and ran into the living room, just in time to see Pansy and MeowMeow being sucked back into the TV.
“Boo! Hiss! Boo!” said MeowMeow. “It’s not fair! We just wanted to play!”
“But you didn’t play nicely!” said George. “And Christmas is meant to be fun, not cruel!”
“I’m stuck!” moaned Pansy. “I’m too full up to go back in!”
He took a deep breath and then belched a deep burp and out of his tummy rolled Daddy! MeowMeow did the same thing, and Mummy flopped onto the floor.
“But I wanted to eat George and his teacher and Father Christmas!” wailed MeowMeow.
“You’re not allowed to eat anyone!” said George. He waved his toy magic wand one more time, and more yellow sparks came flying from it. They landed on Pansy and MeowMeow, and the two of them were slurped straight back into the TV with a satisfying pop.
“Achoo!” said the TV, and it sneezed out all of Mummy’s lipstick.
George sat back on the sofa, exhausted. The house was a complete mess! All the hard work Mummy and Daddy had put in cleaning it up was undone. The floor was covered in soapy water, and Mummy and Daddy were so tired from their ordeal that they’d fallen fast asleep in it. All they needed was a rubber duck, and they’d have looked like they were in the bath!
Now that Pansy and MeowMeow had gone, the duvet cover was just a duvet cover again. Dasher and Dancer waved a hoof outside the window, then flew back to be with Father Christmas. All was quiet in the house once again.
George looked at Alan. “You heard what everyone said, didn’t you?” he realised. “You ate all the Christmas things to get some Christmas Magic, then flew around the world to get Dasher and Dancer so they could get their own back! You helped save the day, Alan!” George stroked Alan’s fur, and whispered, “I don’t think you’re actually a silly cat after all!”
“Meow!” said Alan casually, and he licked his paws.
George looked at the TV screen and saw a very sad-looking Pansy and a very angry-looking MeowMeow.
“We’ll get you for this!” said Pansy.
“No, you won’t!” said George. He turned off the TV and went to play.
The End
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