#ohnick – New Year's Resolutions

A few days ago now, I posted the following to Facebook and my Twitter account:

My New Year's resolutions/challenges for 2014:1) To write a novella named "The Seventeen Songs of Emma-Lee Winter". (It may have some sex in it. Oooh-errrr.)2) To keep on trying to find a literary agent for representation.3) To keep up with my postcard writing, doing at least 9 a month.4) To limit myself and spend only £100 across the whole year on books. Yikes.If there was a 5), it would probably be about not going on terrible dates and finding love, but let's be realistic and stick to the first four. Roll on 2014!

As a set of New Year's Resolutions go, I reckon that they are all achievable.  I've already written a first draft of one of the chapters of The Seventeen Songs of Emma-Lee Winter and uploaded it to this blog (click!), literary agent hunting is something I can keep doing throughout the year irrespective of success or lack thereof, and my postcard mission is not one I've slipped up on these past few years.  I have a system in place (but of course I do) with tick boxes and everything to make sure that people receive post.

     No, the one that will be a challenge is the book one.  I love books; adore them, even.  They keep me happy when life fails to do so; they keep me warm when I feel cold or sad; they have love and happy endings when I fail to find someone to kiss.  They are brilliant... and, like a fool, I am restricting myself from buying them, partly for financial reasons (I would love to get out of my overdraft, which I am hoping my bank manager reads for proof of my intent if nothing else), partly to see if I can do it, and partly because my friend Kimmie is doing the same challenge but with a budget of only £40 across the year! She is far, far braver and more brilliant than I will ever be. (You can read all about her quest here.)

     Nearly everybody I have spoken to about this thinks that I will fail in this task, and I don't blame them for their lack of optimism: books are very much 'my thing' and I do buy an awful lot of them.  When I am sad or upset or confused or anxious or unable to connect with the world in a pleasing/acceptable manner, I buy books.  I love that scent of secondhand bookshops, the shine and gloss of Waterstone, the moment when you peel open an envelope and peer inside to find the creased spine and tatty dust jacket of your latest eBay purchase...

     Yes, it's going to be difficult, but right now it is January 10th and my £100 remains complete. I have the beautiful libraries of Norfolk to keep me going and more books at home that remain unread than I can readily account for.  So, this is more an exercise in commercial restraint than anything else, really.  But, it's a challenge, and what is a New Year's Resolution if not a challenge?

     It's the challenge of making sure that I keep buying stamps whilst affording to eat and making sure I keep in communication with people I love.  It's the challenge of writing a story I've had in my head for ages and trying to ensure that the finished product is as strong as my vision for it.  It's the challenge of submitting words to publishers and trying to act cool about rejection and brave and self-confident about my work when I am afraid of dismissal and lack self-confidence. And it's the challenge of taking away a comfort blanket and free-falling for a year without regular purchases.

     It may be silly; you may think it slight, but wish me luck all the same.